Thursday, November 5, 2015

Renaissance Fair!

Last Saturday Kev and I went to the Renaissance Fair and it was awesome. We've both been really busy and needed to have a little road trip. Kev told me a few days ago that we were going on a surprise trip and all I needed to do was get up and get in the car. So I did.

We took off and drove and drove and drove. I really had no idea where we were going even when we made the turn to Charlotte. Mainly because I had no idea the fair was outside of Charlotte. We made the turn, I saw the signs and was super excited. We've said for years we finally wanted to go and finally we did!

Since it was Halloween the attendees were all dressed up. The big costumes were obviously Renaissance and Star Wars. For reals.

We walked in and were hungry. I immediately went to the crepe stand, mainly because William Shakespeare said it was the best deal in the town. At least he said he was Shakespeare...

We ate it and wandered over to a tent where some guy was telling limericks. It was dirty and awesome. I really had no idea that the fair was going to be so... bawdy. Everyone was naughty and told dick jokes. 

There were a bunch of shops that sold vaguely medieval things. There was a cool show that sold hand drawn maps of fantasy lands. I squealed a little when I saw this one. If you know what it is, we can be BFFs

This one too. 

Next to the map store we found a torture museum for $2 per person. I would have apparently been wearing this back in the day for questioning authority. It's a good thing I was born in modern times.

One of the best things I saw was this guy.

He's an insult comic who gets hit with tomatoes. He was hysterical. Kev had to throw some at him and was called Bluto and Pavarotti and other assorted insults. Heh heh heh.

So worth the $4.

Soon it was time for the joust! We didn't get a seat in the bleachers but got a pretty good spot at the end of the row.

This is pre-horse.

This guy had me dying, He was selling flags in the colors of the 3 knights who were jousting. Our guy was max and he was black and gold.

So many poses.

This is Max, he was very... knight-like

So funny

Our guy ended up winning the joust which was pretty cool. I have no idea how the got points but I'm pretty sure it was all staged. But I didn't really care. 

There were so many people dressed up and I found my favorite. 

Ooooo Yeah!

Then we found this guy. For $5 you got  to shoot paint balls at him. I have no idea why he was medieval but we shot him anyways. 

We looked in more shops, Kev watched part of a show while I waited in line for a brat and some mead. Let me tell you, mead is the -ish, A dixie cup was literally $6 and it was strong and fruity and yummy. We ended the day watching the R-rated show of the Tortuga Twins. 

I also learned that just  like in a strip club, people put dollars in the pants of the performers. I don't know why, but it's totally a thing. A performer also set his nipple on fire for $20. I'm sure he's fine but everyone might have been a little dunk. It was like what would happen if drunk, talented carnies had a show and no one complained about what they said. 

Yea, we had a great time and would totally go back!

Have you ever been to a Ren Fair??


  1. Wow that nipple on fire sounds a little terrifying haha but looks like you have a fun day!

    Laura Aime Vous

  2. I can't believe he set his nipple on fire. I've never seen that as part of the act. I'm kinda sad I missed it in fact. The dollar deposit thing has gotten more and more out of control. That said, where they were this year is a new location and I'm super glad they are at the back because the stage is bigger and we're not right beside the joust, which was loud and annoying and interrupting my lols. I wish they sold weekend passes because that would be awesome. Take one day to watch shows and take another day to walk around to all the vendors. I rarely stop in the shops because they are so expensive (I get it, handcrafted, but #helpmeImpoor) and sometimes they are crowded and well, I just can't. Buttt the one store I super love is the glass balls shop (which I didn't get to go into this year because there was literally no way to walk around because too many people).

    I'm super glad you got to go! obviously.

  3. We go (almost) every year to the Michigan Ren Fest. Always a hoot, people watching! This year we happened to be in Ohio, so we checked it out. Very nice! My sister wanted to see all the shows, but I'd rather browse. My niece & I rode a camel while everyone else was at a show!
    We keep saying we want to dress up but we haven't done it yet. I have, among other things that I can't remember - a fox tail, a drinking horn made from a steer horn, a wooden shot glass that fits in your cleavage, and now a tear-dropped shaped bottle that says rum ration on it. None of this goes with jeans or shorts! I need a dress, dammit!

  4. Great blog I enjoyed reading it.