I'm Probably Back. Really kinda, most likely back.

My three blog readers might have noticed my several month absence. The last time I posted was back in September. Well, nare you fret, I'm still alive and well. But something happened a few months ago, something that kept me away for a while. No, I'm not pregnant.

Someone didn't like something I posted on my blog. They didn't like my opinion and felt that I was responsible for how my words made them feel. Nothing came of it, but it shook me badly. I felt that my little corner of the blogosphere had been violated. My awkward bathroom selfies, workout recaps and low grade snark, made them unhappy. Well, I'm sure it was the snark. Who doesn't like a bathroom selfie and picture of booze?

I was upset, really upset. I am 100% responsible for anything I post, but my opinions are my own, and I'm entitled to them. Words are meant to make people think, and feel, and contemplate places within themselves that they may not always like. Some of the most defining moments in my life were when I received feedback that was tough to take. I remember each and every one of those interactions, how they made me feel and what I did afterwards.

I blogged for a bit after it happened but my heart wasn't in it. That's when I changed the name of my blog and locked down a lot of the personal information. Eventually I stopped all together.

For the last few weeks I've been thinking about it and I found myself getting angry. I like blogging, I've done it on and off for years and I enjoy it. I like having a creative outlet for my thoughts, I like how it holds me accountable and I'm mad that someone took that away from me.

So many times I've been told not to be too loud, not to be too outspoken, to temper your voice and what you have to say. When I was much younger I listened and I did. As I got older I moved into a career where it was expected that I'd be outspoken, I've taken on various leadership roles where those traits are prized instead of shunned and I surround myself  with people who appreciate me for me.

Now it's happening again, and I let it.

FUCK THAT

Seriously FUCK THAT.

My opinion might not always be pretty, but it's mine. I try to be kind but I might fail. I hope my words make someone think or laugh or feel some sort of emotion, that's what life's all about.

I have another reason too, a really good one.

Two months ago Kev and I adopted a baby girl and I will be damned if she ever feels that she can't express her opinion or stand up for what she believes in. All I can do now is be the best possible role model I can be. One step at a time.

I might be the smelly blogger

Last night I went to my very first blogger meet-up. It was hosted by a new organization, the NC Blogger Network. It was held at Brandywine Cellars in Durham which is a great little wine bar, and the lovely folks at PDQ were nice enough to donate some cookies and chicken strips, and really, what else do you need? Wine, chicken and cookies.

So, the good stuff, the organizers did a great job of putting together a panel of speakers. I got some interesting tips to help this ol' blog of mine, like making the title of the post more interesting (just you wait to see what comes out of my brain.) And I have some things to think about, like maybe moving to Wordpress or a self hosted site. Oh, and I need a media kit. Like, really, really need one. Hey potential business partners, you want to team up with me and my 6 followers! Heck yeah!! Check out this link for a list of the speakers and links to their sites.

Alright, time for the rest. As it is in most parts of the country, it's flipping hot here in NC. Like pit and boob sweat hot. I generally don't sweat unless I'm engaged in some sort of physical activity but the past few days, DAMN. I need to take some pictures for a review I did and it's been too damn hot to do it. I'm sure the company doesn't want to see melted make-up and pit stains on their outfit. On top of the hot, as of Weds morning, my air conditioner stopped working in my car.

Let me tell you why this makes me all ragey. My AC hasn't ever worked really well in my car, and I bought it new 5 years ago. Well each summer it got worse and worse until last year when it barely worked. Finally in April of this year I coughed up a few hundred dollars and got the compressor replaced. It lasted for 4 months! FOUR and died on the hottest day of the summer. I called the VW dealership in a big of a pissy mood because I was driving home with sweat dripping off my upper lip. They can't see me until Monday afternoon. I can drop it off and leave it for a day or two or wait until Monday. I'm going to sit there ant stare at them and not pay for the repair. VW service, VW parts, I KNOW there's a warranty somewhere.

I FINALLY HAD AC, FINALLY and it's gone. Now I have drive with the windows open and my hair blowing and getting all tangly. At least we only have a few days of hot left. Then it will be 70 degrees and I won't need the AC.

I was driving to the event and getting angry as I felt myself getting warmer and warmer and thought about turning around, but I didn't because I already spent $16 for the ticket and I paid to get some business cards printed and didn't want to eat all of that $.

So, I walked in a little cranky and more than a little paranoid that I smelled. It's really difficult to be discrete and sniff your pits in a room full of other people. I said hi and introduced myself to a few people but some of the bloggers weren't terribly inviting. They went right back to whatever they were doing. Now I can talk to a brick wall, I have 20 years of sorority and 15 years of sales experience. If there's one thing I can do is talk and no one wanted to engage in a conversation. Obviously this made me even more paranoid that I was the stinky girl.

I headed over to the wine bar where they were doing free tastings. I WAS THE ONLY ONE AT THE BAR. There was FREE WINE AND IT WAS JUST ME. I had a lovely time tasting wine with the bartender/owner  and I'd definitely go back even though he gave me a wine that sucked all the moisture out of my mouth. (He thinks that's delicious) I asked him for some Reunite. Instead he gave me this, which according to Google, means blood of a leader. Perfect.

 

It was sweet, red, and bubbly which is exactly what I wanted. And, since I was a little paranoid, I had 2 glasses. Now I'm the slightly buzzed, smelly blogger. I was clearly winning at life last night.

It ended at 9pm and I headed home in my slightly less sweaty car. I did ask Kev if I smelled and he was very nice and said I didn't. That's why I married him.

All in all it was a good event, I just might need a smaller subset of the blogging community, the chatty wine drinking group who doesn't mind of you might smell a little.

Happy Friday!
BTW - GOOD LUCK TO MY NC STATE KDs!!! Recruitment starts today and it's the largest group of women to ever register! I know they'll be amazing and recruit a fantastic new class!

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Have you ever been to a blogging event? What'd you think?