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Monday, April 25, 2016

Time to face the music

Yes, yes, it's been a while since I posted on here. No real excuses, but life got in the way. Now I'm back. I won't make any promises about how long, but I'm here because I have some things to talk about and I need to hold myself accountable.

I know it's on my Instagram and I think somewhere in my bio, about how I lost 50 pounds on Jenny Craig in 2011. My first weigh in was at a whopping 210 pounds. For someone just 5' 3", that's a lot. I don't have a lot of pictures from back then, but Facebook was kind enough to show me this on Halloween.


Obvs I was a witch and I had my black cat. Pretty chunky.

I was on Jenny for almost a year and my goal weight was 160. Here's me about there. The one on the right was taken 2 moths before goal and the one on the left 4 months after wards. I'd put myself at 163ish in both of these.

Call me delusional, but I think my 163 looks different than other people's. I was wearing a size 8 or 10 pant and that color block tunic from the Loft is a small. The striped one on the right is an Express medium.

I maintained my Jenny weight within 5 pounds for a year and in the summer of 2012 I stopped going to the center. Stuff happened, I was on maintenance, I was doing fine. I enjoyed my wine and sushi and it was good. I ran some half marathons and went to a lot of Body Pump and Spin classes.

Slowly but surely, the pounds crept back. The last time I weighed myself was in the summer of 2013 and I was at 170. Not terrible, just 10 pounds over goal, no biggie. First the pants that were super lose got tighter, then they fit well, then I went into the next size up portion of my closet. The medium shirts gave way to larges. And so it goes. #DontGoThreeYearsWithoutWeighingYourself

But I look at myself in the mirror every day and I was pretty sure I'd gained back 20-25ish of the 50 I lost. So I tried several things over the last 2 years. I joined a running club, did a 24 day detox, I did the Whole 30, the 21 Day Sugar Detox (I still haven't had artificial sweeteners in 2.5 years). What else, I had my macros done, tried that, and most recently I had my resting metabolism tested and started seeing a nutritionist. Fun fact, I apparently burn 1627 calories at rest. Really, my metabolism is disgustingly normal.

At the end of last year I was working back from my hip injury and unable to workout. It really messed with my motivation and I felt myself get one step bigger. That's when I went to the nutritionist. I never really got into it and it seemed like every day something happened and I was over my calories or had too many carbs or something.

Last Sunday night I might have had a mini breakdown. I was sick and tired of watching all my hard work backslide. So I called Jenny Craig. One of my biggest fears of going back was that I had developed a soy sensitivity and all foods have soy in them, and could I handle eating the food 3x a day for the next few months.

They had a special, it was 3 days of food, breakfast lunch and dinner, for $40, free shipping, So I ordered it. Worst case, I'm out $40. I talked to one of the phone reps and they renewed  my legacy membership for $0 and made me an appointment at my old center on Saturday morning at 8am. I ate 3 days of Jenny and had 0 pain or intestinal distress.

That morning, I picked out clothes that were light, peed 2x and didn't eat or drink anything. (that's what you have to do for the best results). If you can get up early enough to #2, that's great too. Did you really think I'd do an entire post that didn't include some sort of potty humor?

For the first time in 3 years, I got on the scale. Did I mention that going that long is really, really bad?

I knew it would be bad, but not 42.5  pounds regained bad. That's right, do the math, ouch.

So, back I go to Jenny Craig. Back to weekly weigh-ins and accountability. I also signed up for a 30 day Boot Camp which starts tomorrow. I know my mom is going to comment that I look beautiful regardless of what I weigh and others will say that a number on the scale doesn't define you. I get it.

But what I don't like is that I busted my ass for a YEAR to lose 50 flipping pounds and gained most of it back over 4 years. A fucking year.

So I'll do it again and turn this blog into a weight loss blog. There's going to be a lot of this:

(Everything you ever wanted to know about Jenny Craig food hacks.)

And some of this.

(most recent selfie of me. Mid March)

And some sweaty pictures too.

Hopefully this won't be a year long journey, but it will be the last time I need to lose 40+ pounds.

Linking up with BLoved Boston! AND


5 comments:

  1. I so get it. I had lost 75 lbs & gained ALL of it back & then some.. its so aggravating. But I'm now down 39 lbs & ready to loose another 25... its a journey. WE CAN DO IT!
    I'm the same way about my weight - my goal weight is usually what others say their starting weight is at - but that weight looks REALLY thin on me - we're all different. I try not to compare the number to someone elses.

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    1. Congrats on your weight loss! That's awesome! I am sooo with you. My goal weight is 160-150 and it looks thin on me. Honestly though, I've never really been smaller than that. There was a brief moment the summer before I went to college when I had an upper respiratory infection and weighed 128. I've never seen that number since then and don't

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    2. Congrats on your weight loss! That's awesome! I am sooo with you. My goal weight is 160-150 and it looks thin on me. Honestly though, I've never really been smaller than that. There was a brief moment the summer before I went to college when I had an upper respiratory infection and weighed 128. I've never seen that number since then and don't

      Delete
    3. Congrats on your weight loss! That's awesome! I am sooo with you. My goal weight is 160-150 and it looks thin on me. Honestly though, I've never really been smaller than that. There was a brief moment the summer before I went to college when I had an upper respiratory infection and weighed 128. I've never seen that number since then and don't expect to. lol.

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  2. Preach! I like my booze a LOT more this time than I did 6 years ago, this is going to be a battle, but I have to do it. Especially since this is the only thing that's ever really worked for me.

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