Friday, August 15, 2014

Five Thing Friday

Happy Friday!! I swear, this week has just flew by. I think that's what happens when you're super busy at work.

This week for Five thing Friday, I decided to talk about 4 Internet things I love and one thing that really annoys me. I figure this is a great way to complain about one thing while keeping everything light hearted.

I just want to preface this by saying, "My sense of humor might be considered 'inappropriate' by many." Just keeping it real. The things that a lot of people laugh at, I don't think are funny. I guess if I wanted to do a comparison, I'm more of a "Family Guy" sense of humor than a "Simpsons".

So what's really amusing me?

1. Sea Captain Date. If this isn't real, don't tell me. I want to believe that there's a website full of boat men looking for love. The best, BEST part of this is all the single entendres. "Hey girl, I need someone to scrub my barnacles, heh heh heh..."

I'm so sad that the best I can do is an iPhone screenshot. That first guy loves to cuddle. Further down there's a guy who will "totally control you like his ship". Bwah ha ha ha ha. I seriously love this site.

2. Amazing Amazon reviews. Who hasn't seen the reviews for the Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve tee? But Damn, these reviews never cease to crack me up.

This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called meth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

3. Passive Aggressive Notes I hate passive Aggressive people but LOOOOOVVVEEEE their notes!

Just got there what you have some work down time and chuckle away.
4. Sh!t for the Kids! My brother posted this video yesterday and I was peeing my pants. Apparently Aunty Fee has been on Jimmy Kimmel and TMZ but I don't stay up late enough for Jimmy. I'm lame and have to go to bed at 11pm. 

I cry every time I watch one of her videos. Literally, tears rolling down my face.
5. And my rant. But I really think this might be a PSA.
OK folks, when you see those facebook pictures of puppies with 2 legs or kids with cancer or even the ones that tell you to "like" if you love the Lord and scroll down to let Satan win, or maybe to win a free iPad, THEY'RE ALL FAKE.
What happens is people create pages, post those pictures, try to get a crap-ton of likes, then the SELL the page to spammers. They sell it based on the number of likes and shares, then the marketers blast out spam messages promoting their products and services. No, FB doesn't condone this but it happens, it happens ALL THE TIME. The spammers can make money off you, perhaps as a link to an app they get a piece of, or a "recommendation" for a product on Amazon that they now receive a commission on. It's all fake. If you want to like something, like it from a reputable company. Want to support homeless animals, adopt from a shelter or volunteer at the SPCA, a facebook like won't help the puppies in your town.


I'm pretty sure scrolling past this doesn't renounce my faith.

Well, this post totally covered all ends of the spectrum. I'm generally a pretty happy gal but the whole "like this or you're a bad person" really gets my panties in a bunch.

Have a great Friday!

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  1. She was on Jimmy Kimmel - she was HILARIOUS! She kept yelling at her son, "You're going to mess this up for me!" Jimmy was laughing his head off!

    1. I love her so much. I would definitely watch a cooking show if she was on it!

  2. Replies
    1. It really is epic. I saw a towel at the beach that looked like it but I couldn't bring myself to pull the trigger.

  3. The amazon review is full of similarly fantastic stories. I'm betting they aren't all real, but I so want them to be.

  4. We have the farmer love commercials too! I want to live in a world where sea captain date is real.

  5. Yay! Welcome! Let me tell you, you'll love both sites, I know i do!

  6. lol'd over those passive aggressive notes

  7. There are so many awesome reviews for that shirt. I love them all. And she totally burned those and tried to pass it off like she didn't. Love her!

  8. Cracking up at all of these!! That drives me crazy on facebook too!!! The things people believe, Crazy I tell ya!
    xo Krissy @ Sneakers and Sequins

    1. I KNOW. I just don't understand how people can actually believe those. It makse no sense to me.