The Best Worst Cat Ever

Saturday morning we woke up to find that our cranky old man had passed away in the middle of the night. Titus was our first cat, an enormous pain in the ass and had more personality than any animal I've ever met.

In the spring of 2007 Kev and I decided to get a cat. We'd both had cats growing up and thought that it would be a good idea. I was a proponent of going to the animal shelter and Kev wanted craigslist. Because cats are free there.... FYI, free cats aren't really free. 

He found a lady who'd rescued a stray who they estimated to be about 6 months old. She said his name was Elmo and couldn't keep him. We took one look at the cranky kitten with the crooked tail and knew that 1. He was coming home with us and 2. He needed a new name. We thought about Rocky (because I fricking love Rocky) but decided that he needed a warrior's name. Titus it was.

I always swore that Titus was once a man, reincarnated into a cat. I figured he wasn't that nice of a person in his previous life and got stuck as a cat to redeem himself. I'm not sure he did though, lol,

Titus always did what he wanted, when he wanted, everyone else be damned. When we were still at our old house, we were interviewing someone from Merry Maids to potentially clean the house. Titus walked by and she said. "Oh, I didn't realize you had a cat, I didn't smell anything. I'm really allergic". The minute she said allergic, he stopped, turned around, jumped up on the table and started rubbing on her. That cat was NEVER a lover, he could take or leave most people. I know in my soul that he heard her say she was allergic and went over on purpose. We just apologized and explained that he was a terrible jerk.

We eventually got 2 more cats and the dog and Titus could have taken or left all of them. He probably would have been happiest as an only kitty. 

He really wasn't a fan when we got Cleo and he started spraying all over the house. It was tough but we decided the only way to keep him was to transition him into an outside kitty, which we did got 6 months. Until the neighbors complained that he was terrorizing their cats. Sigh... So once again we worked on transitioning him into a 100% indoor kitty, which he'd never been. Needless to say, he wasn't a fan. 

I used to say that owning Titus was like having Stockholm Syndrome. He tormented you and held you captive but you still loved him.

He was absolutely fine until the very end. He was fat, ate a ton, used the litter box, jumped on laps, everything. Last Weds we caught him peeing on the door and we stuck him in the garage for a few days. He had a heated bed, down blanket and space heater in there, and I was sure he'd be warm enough. Friday morning I went to feed him and he was just laying on the cat bed. He looked a little lethargic but not sick. Friday night I mentioned to Kev that we should check on him and we didn't. I don't know if we would have been able to help or caught what was wrong in time but when we went into the garage on Saturday morning and saw that he'd passed away.

I always thought he'd outlive all of us. He'd be 35 years old and still wrecking havoc in the kitty nursing home. I thought that when he went he'd be found surrounded by empty bottles of booze, hookers and blow, or the cat equivalent.

Rest in Peace buddy, living with you was always an adventure. No matter how many cats we have in the future, there will never be another one like you. I hope you have lots of things to pee on and people to piss off in kitty heaven. We'll miss you T-man.

Don't even think about it Internet Explorer

Dear Internet Explorer, you are that tiny man who wants to grind up on you at the club. You're a tinder creep who won't stop asking you to sleep with him. You're that strange kid at the coffee shop who gives sits there with 1 cup of coffee your entire shift. Waiting, hoping that one day you'll have a moment of weakness, agree to go out with him, then he'll try to brush his arm against your boob.

Let me break it down for you, I will NEVER agree to going out with you. Ever. ever. ever. Stop asking me to let you be my default browser, it won't happen. Stop Asking. Believe me, I have no idea why that one website works best with you, I really don't and I promise that I'm only there because I absolutely have to be. #NeverGonnaHappenInternetExplorer

Sorry, I had to get that out. I have to use Internet Explorer to access the site that houses our call recordings and I don't understand why there's no way to tell IE to stop asking me if I want it to be my default browser.

It's Wednesday and time to confess my sins and throw up some hashtags. Let's get started!

Sunday my asshole cat was sleeping on the bed as always and he got locked in the bedroom. He apparently had to go to the liter box, and I get that he couldn't hold it but did you really have to take a dump on my boots?!?! Seriously. How about in the bathroom on the tile? Even on the bathroom rug would have been fine. Anything that could be thrown into the washing machine. Nooooo.... #mycatisstillajerk

Replace pee with poop...

While I was typing this post... He was on my chest and I couldn't breathe.

Last week I confessed that we're moving. or maybe that was 2 weeks ago. Any who, we decided to hold off. We just refinanced and decided to wait 9-12 months until making the switch. It's totally fine, we now have a little breathing room and time to have a massive garage sale clean out this summer. #pleasebuymycrap

This is a pretty exciting confession, We're heading to Europe in April!! I've never been overseas and am seriously so excited to go. We're flying in to Munich, spending a few days there with a side trip to Salzberg. Then taking the bullet train to Paris and flying home from there.

Get ready for endless posts on what I think I need to pack and my thoughts on all the tips I've already gotten. My mom is super excited for me to go as well and she watches a lot of Rick Steves on PBS. Rick Steves considers himself to be "America's most respected authority on European travel" (his words, not mine). I was looking at his website and Rick only suggests that you bring 5 pairs of underwear for a week in Europe...

I'm assuming he wants you to wash your dedicates in the European sink? Sorry Rick, no dice. And I won't buy your money belt either. Oh, he really wants me to buy his journal and document my thoughts. No Rick Steves, no. #NotWashingMyBrasInASink

Heh heh heh.. I swear I won't.

There's nothing that annoys me more than instructors who create unrealistic expectations of calorie burns. There is a crazy instructor who insists that you'll burn 800-1000 calories in a 45 min spin class. No.. No you won't. I busted my ass in a 45 min class, warm up and cool down, 500 calories. I know that HRMs are unreliable at times but i think it's pretty close.

I generally burn 100 calories per 10 minutes of hard work. My HRM is in a burning range and that's what I get, every time. I just get angry when people who look to these professionals for advice are being mislead. #DontEatABunchOfCookiesYouDidntBurnIt

Continuing my 50 Shades of Grey rant... Vermont Teddy Bears has a Fifty Shades Teddy Bear. Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?! The damn bear has tiny handcuffs and a little mask.

This sounds terrible but I'm really concerned about the fate of this generation, I feel really old saying that and I'm sure our parents said the same thing. We have a recent grad in the office and he as going on his first business trip. We weren't sure if he was going to be able to get on the flight and get to the other office my himself.

We talked about "Paddington Bear-ing" him which is basically pinning an address to his shirt in case he gets lost. We were also really concerned if he would have warm enough clothes to wear. Before he left for the airport he might have had 5 layers of clothes on. We explained that the plane wouldn't be that cold and he's have to remove all of those when he went through security.

The other day we had a talk about slacks and how they were important to own. I taught him the difference between khakis and slacks and his mom went and bought him a pair. We'll get him there but this is a smart kid, recent college grad and I'm afraid that this is what happens when kids of helicopter parents grow up. #ImALitteScared

Linking up with the Weds Crew!

 

Wednesday Confessions

It's been a while but I wanted to bring back some Wednesday confessions. I guess I need to atone for my sins. So here goes. #confess

1. I confess that I was ready to call the animal shelters because my cat was missing for almost 48 hours. I saw Titus before everyone came over for rehearsal Sunday night and I figured he escaped when people were coming in. He didn't come for breakfast Monday morning and I was a little worried. Tuesday morning he still didn't come for breakfast and I told Kev to go look for him outside. I was afraid he'd been dragged off by some wild animal. That cat doesn't miss a meal.

Got home yesterday, Kev hadn't found him and I asked if he'd checked in all of the cabinets and up in the attic. Then I opened the door to the linen closet and he jumped out. My cat was locked in the linen closet for almost 48 hours and I feel a little bad about it. At least he peed on the towels which are super easy to clean. He seems really happy to be out and it's not like he was going to starve to death. #hesreallygoingtopeeonsomething

2. I hate Greek Yogurt. Everyone is on the dang Greek yogurt bandwagon and it makes me want to vomit.

3. I'm concerned that one of my employees might be a serial killer. He quotes Silence of the Lambs all day long. If the cops came and asked if I were surprised that bodies were found in his back yard, I'd say no. #Imnottheonlyonewhothinksthat

4. I'm more upset than I should be about not being able to find a Chuck Norris calendar this year. I really, really love my monthly Chuck.

5. I still have my Christmas tree up. It's dry as a bone but that dang thing is still festive. We put it up late and I'm getting every last bit of Christmas out of it.

6. I texted the house cleaners to see when they were coming back and she didn't respond for 2 days. I knew they were out of town but I was terrified that they thought my house was too dirty and not worth what they were charging. I had a lot of anxiety that I might have to find someone else. 

7. I'm hiring a new intern and I can't wait. I have so much crap for her to do and I needed her yesterday. Just waiting for her education to be verified which makes no sense because she was home schooled. Seriously, just call her mom. #thatrefridgeratorisn'tgoingtocleanitself.

I'm super excited that Melissa is bringing back the Wednesday confessions! Go check out the other posters! Also check out #hashtaghumpday. Love it!

Spill your guts, what do you need to confess?

Random things that are pretty awesome

 Hi all! Sorry if you saw a janky post earlier today. I was loading the pictures and accidentally hit Publish instead of Save. Ooops.

Anywho, I wanted to talk about a few things I'm loving lately. First up, this BB Cream and powder from Smashbox. Let me tell you, I am a terrible creature of habit when it comes to make-up. I find what I like and stay with it, FOREVER. I seriously wore the same Clinique Superpowder Double Face Powder since I was in high school and only in the last 2 years have switched to M.A.C Studio Fix Powder plus Foundation. FYI, that's a really long time.

I've been hearing a lot about BB creams and I wanted to give one a try. Let me say, I LOVE this one. Smashbox beauty cream is a moisturizer, it controls oil and it has SPF 35 sun protection. It's tinted, goes on smoothly and provides great coverage. I got this sample kit so I could try it along with the Halo powder which I also LOVE.

 

According to Smashbox, this powder can reduce the signs of aging. I'm all for that, so let's slap some on. Seriously though, the combo of the BB cream and Halo powder is fantastic. Great coverage and it lasts the entire day of me putting my hands on my face.

 

 

Next up, Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stain in Crush.I picked this up a Kroger. Yes, Kroger and I'm in love. I think my lips are pale and I'm constantly putting on gloss or lipstick all day. I've been to Sephora and Ulta and the department stores looking for s lip stain that will last. I couldn't find anything I liked at any of those places, but go to get some cat food and there it is.

 

Fantastic wear and it doesn't get cakey over the course of the day. Put it on and it's there all dang day. Love.

 

Boot Camp! Yesterday I went to a Boot Camp Class at the YMCA I was auditioning. I was impressed by how strenuous it was. We ran suicides at the end. I didn't play sports in school, so that was pretty new to me. I wasn't the last person to finish, and I was in the front of the pack for the running portion. Well, everyone else was jogging and it was a run for me but hell yeah, front of the pack!

 

 

ICE CREAM - I mentioned that I was following a IIFYM program. So far so good, but I'm having trouble getting in all the fat for the day. That's where the ice cream comes in. Full fat, delicious French Vanilla Ice Cream (hands down the best flavor ever). It has to be French Vanilla. I love the yellow so much.

 

 

I can knock out some carbs and fat with a serving of ice cream and that's awesome.

 

This is one of my cats, Titus, he's a douche and totally owns it.

 

 

 

He's too fat to sit on the arm of the chair so he has half his girth on there and the rest on the seat. Note the fantastic stank eye.

 

These Cookies. I've been seeing a lot of people talk about Raggedy Robins which are apparently No-Bake cookies. Who knew there were different names? Regardless, they're no-bakes to me. I decided to whip up a batch for my team meeting on Tuesday and gave Kev some to take to rehearsal.

 

 

 

Such a hot delicious mess of peanut butter and chocolate. 

 

Looks like dookie, tastes like awesome.

 

 

No-Bakes - GF Too

 

1 stick of butter (use unsalted or salted, whatever you have)

1/3 cup Coco powder

2 cups white sugar

1/2 cup milk (I used Almond)

 

Put it all in a pan on the stove top on Med High / High. Let it melt and stir regularly until it comes to a hard boil. Here's the trick, let it boil HARD for a full minute! If you don't, they won't set up properly. Hard boil means that you can't stir away the bubbles. You still want to stir while it's bubbling because otherwise that -ish will burn.

 

After a minute take it off the burner and add:

1/2 cup peanut butter

1 tsp vanilla

Stir until the PB melts, it won't take long.

 

Then add 3 cups of uncooked oatmeal. (I used TJ's GF oats)

 

Spoon onto waxed paper and wait for them to cool. Or don't. Eat it warm with a spoon and burn your tongue. All the cool kids are doing it.



 

 Nutritional Stats:

 

Enjoy!

Raggedy Robins or No-Bakes? This is important!