Dear Internet Explorer, you are that tiny man who wants to grind up on you at the club. You're a tinder creep who won't stop asking you to sleep with him. You're that strange kid at the coffee shop who gives sits there with 1 cup of coffee your entire shift. Waiting, hoping that one day you'll have a moment of weakness, agree to go out with him, then he'll try to brush his arm against your boob.
Let me break it down for you, I will NEVER agree to going out with you. Ever. ever. ever. Stop asking me to let you be my default browser, it won't happen. Stop Asking. Believe me, I have no idea why that one website works best with you, I really don't and I promise that I'm only there because I absolutely have to be. #NeverGonnaHappenInternetExplorer
Sorry, I had to get that out. I have to use Internet Explorer to access the site that houses our call recordings and I don't understand why there's no way to tell IE to stop asking me if I want it to be my default browser.
It's Wednesday and time to confess my sins and throw up some hashtags. Let's get started!
Sunday my asshole cat was sleeping on the bed as always and he got locked in the bedroom. He apparently had to go to the liter box, and I get that he couldn't hold it but did you really have to take a dump on my boots?!?! Seriously. How about in the bathroom on the tile? Even on the bathroom rug would have been fine. Anything that could be thrown into the washing machine. Nooooo.... #mycatisstillajerk
Replace pee with poop...
While I was typing this post... He was on my chest and I couldn't breathe.
Last week I confessed that we're moving. or maybe that was 2 weeks ago. Any who, we decided to hold off. We just refinanced and decided to wait 9-12 months until making the switch. It's totally fine, we now have a little breathing room and time to have a massive garage sale clean out this summer. #pleasebuymycrap
This is a pretty exciting confession, We're heading to Europe in April!! I've never been overseas and am seriously so excited to go. We're flying in to Munich, spending a few days there with a side trip to Salzberg. Then taking the bullet train to Paris and flying home from there.
Get ready for endless posts on what I think I need to pack and my thoughts on all the tips I've already gotten. My mom is super excited for me to go as well and she watches a lot of Rick Steves on PBS. Rick Steves considers himself to be "America's most respected authority on European travel" (his words, not mine). I was looking at his website and Rick only suggests that you bring 5 pairs of underwear for a week in Europe...
I'm assuming he wants you to wash your dedicates in the European sink? Sorry Rick, no dice. And I won't buy your money belt either. Oh, he really wants me to buy his journal and document my thoughts. No Rick Steves, no. #NotWashingMyBrasInASink
Heh heh heh.. I swear I won't.
There's nothing that annoys me more than instructors who create unrealistic expectations of calorie burns. There is a crazy instructor who insists that you'll burn 800-1000 calories in a 45 min spin class. No.. No you won't. I busted my ass in a 45 min class, warm up and cool down, 500 calories. I know that HRMs are unreliable at times but i think it's pretty close.
Continuing my 50 Shades of Grey rant... Vermont Teddy Bears has a Fifty Shades Teddy Bear. Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?! The damn bear has tiny handcuffs and a little mask.
This sounds terrible but I'm really concerned about the fate of this generation, I feel really old saying that and I'm sure our parents said the same thing. We have a recent grad in the office and he as going on his first business trip. We weren't sure if he was going to be able to get on the flight and get to the other office my himself.
We talked about "Paddington Bear-ing" him which is basically pinning an address to his shirt in case he gets lost. We were also really concerned if he would have warm enough clothes to wear. Before he left for the airport he might have had 5 layers of clothes on. We explained that the plane wouldn't be that cold and he's have to remove all of those when he went through security.
The other day we had a talk about slacks and how they were important to own. I taught him the difference between khakis and slacks and his mom went and bought him a pair. We'll get him there but this is a smart kid, recent college grad and I'm afraid that this is what happens when kids of helicopter parents grow up. #ImALitteScared
Linking up with the Weds Crew!
WHY IS IE STILL TRYING TO BE RELEVANT?! my office only uses IE for certain things and i have no idea why a TECH COMPANY would still use IE for anything yet chirp on about security protocols etc...don't they know IE is filled with security holes that can easily be hacked?? yes, of course they do but they're just too cheap to migrate to anything different.
ReplyDeleteyour cat his hilarious. he sounds like a real jerk but he's so fluffy and cute you can't NOT love him. maybe that's why he a jerk - he knows he can get away with it :D
I stopped using IE about two years ago. I was tired of the errors it threw. Love google chrome.
ReplyDeleteI;ve been using Chrome for a while. I remember even using Yahoo back in the day. Wow...
Deletethere is something very wrong with that 50 shades of grey bear LOL
ReplyDeleteThe kinky bear makes me angry on so many levels. I think the little handcuffs are the worst.
DeleteLOL on the young guy from work - so, so, so true! How will they ever take care of themselves on their own? I love the "Paddington bear-ing" him idea.
ReplyDeleteI really don't know how he lives on his own. One of my employees makes him a sandwich when she makes ones for her kids in the morning.
DeleteOkay so several things. 1. My cats are total assholes as well. And of COURSE the boots had to be sacrificed. Sigh. 2. I effing hate Internet Explorer with every fiber of my being 3. A 50 Shades of Grey TEDDY BEAR?! *facepalm....
ReplyDeleteI saw that bear before & just laughed. Who would even WANT that? They need serious help!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the Europe trip - that's gotta be exciting.
OK... I feel like a loser - I use Internet Explorer.... what should I be using?
You just nailed every single feeling I have ever had about Internet Explorer. IE is a trashy bus stop hooker. I don't know why 50 shades of grey is getting so much product love.. I can't stand it!
ReplyDeleteYes I feel you on IE. It's frustrating that that is what they prefer we use at work. I downloaded chrome at work even though I wasn't supposed to .. #sorrynotsorry
ReplyDeleteNo, no they shouldn't. No one needs a bondage bear.
ReplyDeleteThe Vermont Teddy Bear scares me. I mean, let's start with the obvious. Teddy Bears are supposed to be creatures of comfort, and are (primarily) meant to be for small children. So, let's say they've created the 50 Shades bear for grown women. WHY ARE GROWN WOMEN STILL COLLECTING NEW TEDDY BEARS???? It's not okay.
ReplyDeleteThat's what makes no sense! It's not like you're going to play with a teddy bear and if you did, what would the 50 Chades bear be doing??? Ewwww...
DeleteI cannot stand IE, so slow and so obnoxious. Chrome all the way ;D That 50 Shades teddy bear is awful, who the heck came up with that?! Yikes. I am pretty scared for this generation too.
ReplyDeleteLOL, thanks!! I was feeling particularly racey towards IE the other day. :)
ReplyDeleteThat is so exciting that you are going to Europe!! I loved Paris and had such a great time when we were there as part of our honeymoon!! I also agree with you about this generation... my little brother while quite intelligent is such a dingbat when it comes to so many things. We worry about him all the time when he is traveling as he has a tendency to forget major things (like his passport at home or his cell phone or his tickets or things of that nature), and it always seems to be a miracle when he dresses himself appropriately. We are only 4 1/2 years apart, but seems like ages as I don't ever remember being like him lol
ReplyDeleteAnd not to put it all on the boys, but I swear the collegiate women are a little better equipped to handle the real world. :)
DeleteIE always gave me so many problems. Teddy and 50 shades should never happen.
ReplyDeleteI KNOW. Please no teddy bears and bondage. I can't even think about all the people who were genuinely excited to get that bear on V-Day
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