Saturday, July 19, 2014

Northern vs. Southern Food

Yes. I know I think a lot about food. I can't help myself. This afternoon I was thinking about Skittles. Thinking really really hard. I wanted something sweet so badly and I broke down, dug out some change and headed to the vending machine. Every last dang piece of candy was chocolate. I can't eat soy, I can't eat chocolate. Yes, it's terribly sad. Believe me, I'd love some chocolate, I just don't need the stomach ache.

I was actually much sadder when I developed an allergy to aspartame. I LOVED me some Diet Coke. I cried when I found out. Seriously cried. Now I reminisce about Diet Coke like a former smoker thinks about having another cigarette. Oh lord, that first sip of Diet Coke right after you crack open the can. Ahhhhh or a McDonald's Diet Coke?? Come on, you know McDonald's has the best fountain soda.

Ok, enough about Diet Coke. Let's talk about Southern Food. I didn't grow up in the south but I've lived in NC for almost 9 years. Before moving here I knew a little about southern food but had no idea what to expect.

- Tater Tots are an acceptable breakfast side dish. I was at the cafeteria at work the other morning and 3 of the 4 people in line got tots with their breakfasts. I don't get it. Tots are a lunch or dinner side, generally with a hot dog, like in elementary school.

(Eyes on food is always funny)

- Mayo on your breakfast sandwich. I might have vomited a little in my mouth the first time it was offered to me. Bacon egg and cheese, yes please. Do you want mayo on that? NO! That's disgusting. Hot mayo on a greasy egg, fatty bacon and glistening cheese. No no no no no.

(Revel in my MS Paint skills)

- Sweet Tea, that's a given. People in the south like sweet tea, northern sweet tea comes in an Arizona or Lipton can.

- Banana pudding. People lose their minds over some banana pudding. Don't get me wrong, I love Nila wafers, bananas and pudding as much as the next person but why do southerners lose their minds over it?
- Carolina BBQ. Ok, Carolina BBQ is amazing. I never liked sweet sauced BBQ meat and the vinegar base is delicious. Kudos.

Northern Foods we NEED in the South

- OK South, let's be honest, your pizza is bad. Yes, each and every town has their local pizza shop and you all think it's good. I get it. But it's not good. It just isn't. Every pizza in the south is a 6 or lower. There's no delicious sauce and doughy crust. Yes you all can argue with me but I'm right on this one. Head up north, get a piece of pizza and give me a call.

(DiCarlo's is the pizza of choice in my home town)

- Butter cookies! Those small Italian butter cookies. OMG, so good they bring a tear to you eye. Northern bakeries are amazing. Sadly, the best bakery in town here is Whole Foods. Yes you can get a nice cupcake here and there but for a full service bakery, I have to go to Whole Foods. Bring me ONE bakery with a butter cookie and a nut horn and I'll cry happy tears.

(Moio's in Monroeville. OMG this is my happy place. I don't see my favorite fancy macaroons in the pix but go there and eat them all. I got my wedding cake and plates of cookies here.)

- Fries on food. We do this in Pittsburgh and it's really fantastic. Fries on salad, fries on sandwiches, fries make everything better. Trust me on this one.


- Subs!! Northern toasty subs are the BEST!!! Long skinny roll, toasty bread, some sort of meat, cheese and delicious spices. Damn they're good...

(Uncle Sam's Subs in Pittsburgh. It's been too long since I've had one of these babies. We ate a lot of these in college. I still think about them.)

- Diners, there aren't any diners in the south. Where the heck do you eat at 2 am when you're in college?? Cook Out isn't the same and Waffle House is nasty. It's just nasty and they don't have butter cookies.

Alright, now to convince Kevin that it's time for a trip up north! 

What foods do you miss?

Ever had fries on your salad or sandwich?


  1. I used to drink a LOT of Diet Coke, some might say I was addicted but I wouldn't go that far. I just loved it, so, so very much. I still think about that first sip of a newly opened can... OK maybe I was addicted but I swear if it didn't make me sick I never would have stopped. lol

  2. I would cry too and not being able to drink it! Tots make me think of Napolean Dynamite. KETCHUP, Ketchup goes on breakfast sandwiches!! Geez! Get it together South! ;) I love fries on a sammie but oh so fattening too. Chinese food, we know how to do it up here.